Dear A.J:

I hope your child will start talking soon and develop well otherwise.

I am glad you had the conversation that you did with your wife.

You wrote: “I know what yelling and beating is and my wife is not doing it on that lever. She is just stern with him sometimes.”-

I want to point out to you my experience, what I learned: a person who was severely abused, for example, being beaten until bloodied, watches a child being yelled but never beaten, and thinks: “compare to how I was treated, THIS is nothing…” But for the child who has no other experience to compare to, yelling is bad enough, and harmful.

I am sorry to read that your wife is your wife by name only. I suppose the elders’ decision, conveyed to her by her mother, to stay home until your child speaks is based on the idea that her presence with him will benefit him (or that it will look bad to other people to see a new mother not at home). Problem is, her presence with him is not benefiting him if she yells at him and otherwise expresses her frustration at staying at home.

I hope you take best care possible of your health. Post again, anytime you’d like.

anita