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Hi David…I hope that when you read this you are well on the way to embracing amazing things that will take you down a road that surely leads to a life of happiness. When you said, “The only thing I need working on is the feeling of resentment, anger and need for revenge for the person whose spiteful actions has put me in this present position.” I respectfully disagree because of the operative words, “the only thing.” Am I correct in my belief that your “boozing spree for several days” are not a sudden knee jerk reaction or rare moment? I ask this because I get a sense that alcohol occupies a great deal of your life. Alcohol is the judge, jury, and executioner and plays havoc not only on you but your family and relationships as well. When you said, “This isn’t the first time something like this has happened as I count myself very vulnerable to anxiety and low mood (won’t say depression)” I must again with all due respect to you my friend, challenge this by saying that there are many expressions of depression, with your desire to contemplate suicide being one. With you saying that “This isn’t the first time something like this has happened as I count myself very vulnerable to anxiety and low mood (won’t say depression) and I ended up in hospital for 10 days last year after a similar booze induced breakdown.” being another. When people resort to alcohol as a means to avoid their responsibilities to themselves to manage issues of negative effects, they in essence are only masking the problem rather than confront them and make the necessary healthy changes. Whether it be a chemical imbalance in your brain of the effects of an adverse upbringing, or a combination of both, your depression is something of a priority that needs to be dealt with and I think that by being an active participant in making what I call a correction in direction, you can be a key architect in making the changes you need to and become the beneficiary of a beautiful life. I got your 6 my friend.
Pearce