Hi Jeff,

Reading your post, I saw myself in you, as recently as 4 months ago. I was in an on-again off-again relationship for 3 years with a woman whose desire to connect was much lower than mine.

I think it’s close to impossible to find someone who needs the identical amount of connection as ourselves. I think that’s okay – we can make up the “gaps” with friends, family, alone time (reading, working out, writing, being in nature, etc.).

That being said, I don’t think it’s healthy to put enormous amounts of energy into compensating for a partner whose availability is just too different from our own. In my case, I just couldn’t take it anymore, and I walked away with no regrets, having left it all on the field.

That may not be your solution. I am not making a recommendation as to what to do, except to think about whether you want to live with the amount of connection your having with her. This level is comfortable for her, but it doesn’t seem to be comfortable for you.