Hi Maria,

A person who is abusive to you will continue to abuse you as long as you accept it (that’s just his habit).  Abuse, apologize, be nice, honeymoon phase, and then abuse again.  It’s a very bad cycle.  And one that can only be broken by someone who is willing to take responsibility for his bad behavior/choices.  You are so young and have so much in life to experience.  It would be sad for you to accept this as “normal” or settle for this type of relationship.  NOONE deserves to be abused.  And often, the abuse escalates until your life is in imminent danger.  I would hate for you to put yourself into that kind of situation for the rest of your life.  If your parents know about this behavior, along with his other “bad habits,” I can see why they don’t approve of your relationship with him.

Stay away.  Get away.  Don’t accept this behavior as normal or okay.  It’s definitely not!  Be safe!  You sound like a sweet person who just wants someone to love her as much as she loves him.  ACTIONS SPEAK LOUNDER THAN WORDS.  If he isn’t continuously trying to take care of you and help you feel safe and secure, then it’s not the right relationship for you.  If he’s not taking responisiblity for his abusive behavior and getting help for it, then he’s not healthy enough to be in a good relationship.  Try to become a little more independent.  Make some new friends.  Find some new hobbies.  Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not make you feel badly about yourself.  Date other men to see what you like and don’t like in a potential partner.  Give yourself options/possibilities.  This man doesn’t sound like he’s a good one for you (or anyone) if he’s constantly hurting you, emotionally and/or physically.

YOU DESERVE BETTER AND MORE!!

Take Care of Yourself!  I wish you peace and happiness!

Dawn