So it has been 2 weeks and today was the worst. I had a breakdown 2x. Once at the DDS office. It was embarrassing. Last time I had anxiety there and my ex texted me out of the anxiety.  I also went a trail run, first time, and couldn’t help but think about all the hiking my ex and I did. Again another breakdown.

I don’t have social support outside the work environment. I have friends I can reach by text or call. But that is it. So I am basically alone. I am also petrified about the future. It is going to take me getting out there alone and I’m not sure I can do it. I have always been shy and it’s tough for me to meet people. Work is also not a place to meet others as I work in a medical clinic.

I met my recent ex through online dating and not sure about that right now either. It may seem like I am wallowing, but I am scared about being alone.

I have a counselor and we are working on some things like why I’m always looking for validation, low self esteem and overall low self worth.

If anyone has a few good books to read about any of this let me know. Really struggling with life at this point, but as Craig has said 1 foot in front of the other.