Thank you for all the replies!

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Today has been extremely difficult. Sundays were our brunch days and relaxing days. No contact with her has been extremely difficult. Ran today and I really struggled. Half way through took out my phone and almost called. Didn’t but wanted to. I miss so much and I do understand some of that is my own comfort. 

Was texting my sister and wrote “not sure why I want a person who is emotionally unavailable and couldn’t verbalize to me she loved in my life”. But it is there almost every minute. Trouble eating is my biggest problem. And I love to eat. 

So im starting to look at meditation and mindfulness. Need to do something as life right now just seems too hard and purposeless.