Dear Lisa:

You are welcome. I like your idea about coming up with a plan and starting over. Every morning is a starting over, a new day.

I think that for you to get into a healthy physical shape is a good goal for you not for the purpose of attracting men, but so to be healthy and to promote your emotional health. Regarding men, your attitude toward them will turn them off no matter how great your physical shape is. If you want a loving relationship with a man, that attitude needs to change.

You wrote: “I am waiting for someone to prove to me that I am wrong”- so a man starts as Guilty, in your mind, and it is his job to prove himself innocent. In the U.S. Courts a suspects starts, legally, as “innocent until proven guilty”. In Lisa’s court, a man is “guilty until proven innocent.”

It is very important that if you get involved with a man, that he will be a decent man, an honest man who does not look down at women, who is respectful toward others. That kind of a man should not be viewed as “guilty until proven innocent”.

The changing of attitude regarding men that I am suggesting to you is to view men as individuals and evaluate a man as an individual.

If you are not able or willing to evaluate a man as an individual, then you are not ready to consider a loving relationship with a man, dating, that is.

anita