Anita, When I communicate what is missing, I don’t do it in a way that is critical of him, I do it in a way that expresses what I need. I say “I feel loved when …or I don’t feel loved when” , I try to use a lot of “I feel statements” etc. I don’t just sit there pointing out his flaws or “lacks.”

As far as having a relationship with someone that is so lacking, I guess you just form an attachment to people before you find that out sometimes, and it’s not like all of those qualities are completely lacking, he used to be affectionate so I know it is within him.