My first love not only rejected me but then proceeded to use me as emotional support when she couldn’t get it her her bf at the time; she let me kiss her with her bf present (which i only realised was basically cheating when a friend told me; even though the guy did ‘apparently’ gave his blessing to do so). Even when i wrote this girl a love letter pouring my heart and soul to her she didn’t even reconsider. (I wasn’t expecting her to fall for me then, but i was at least expecting her to at least consider the prospect of maybe trying something before making the decision she ultimately made which was still a ‘no’)

That was the single thing that broke me. But my brothers suicide did add onto it, but i was already broken by that point (that happened 6 years after the aforementioned incident) To me i’ve dealt with so much crap in my life that i’ve learnt that life isn’t fair and it is never sunshine and rainbows and to believe in otherwise isn’t seeing life for what it is. Thus my reasoning for being pessimistic. Life isn’t a fairytale the more practical response will be crappy as life is basically unfair