Hi Mary,

Yes, I too have dealt with this for a long time beginning in early childhood by a very mentally unstable alcoholic Mother. I was raised in a very chaotic dysfunctional home. I then picked the “wrong people” for friendships, I ended up getting manipulated, controlled, betrayed, bullied, this continued into middle school. I finally had enough, and in High school, got into horses and showing them to get away from the “cliques” in high school. I made one or two friends, but I was very distant and they were a grade lower than me (11th grade). I tended to make friends with people, who too were not in cliques, and unpopular. It made life easier that way. Yet, I couldn’t wait to get out of school to get to my horses. It seemed animals were my only “true” friends.

Even with therapy, I can still get into toxic relationships. I think because I have no family left and I can get lonely, so I no longer get choosy as to pick out who I become friends with. If I do, I try not to get too emotionally attached, so I don’t get manipulated, or two women will “gang up” on me, etc. My therapist have me two great books, I highly recommend them. One is: “The Nice Girl Syndrone, Stop being manipulated and start standing up for yourself” by Beverly Engel. The other is: Enough! Taking back your life after years of abuse” by L. David Harris. You can get these at your library or Amazon or any bookstore.