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Coyote,
You wrote, “The fact that every relationship will sooner or later end up in abusing the other one.” with the operative word being “every.” First, this is not a “fact.” Plain and simple. The word “will” is an absolute so I have no reason to believe that “every relationship will sooner or later end up in abusing the other one.”
Narcissism is a profoundly destructive personality trait yet for one to want to change one must be willing to invest a sincere effort to undergo professional counseling and it may take some time. At some point in counseling some memories, issues, may present themselves to the point where you are tempted want to quit. Embedded images stirring the pot of fear, anger, and whatever issue that may arise is a HUGE opportunity to confront your fears. Have no fear my friend. You are stronger than those fears. I forgot who said this, “Learning has no value if change is no longer necessary.” If you want to change, Coyote, you first must learn. In your self diagnosed case of narcissism, I am not sure if you can learn from any advice I can give. I apologize profusely to you if that seems harsh. Find a professional who employs a mode of therapy that has many years experience in this area. They can teach, you can learn, and you can change.
I wish you the very best of luck my friend.
Pearce