Anita,

Thanks for the feedback for yesterday`s letter.

I think I should make it clearer that what I have wrote above is only an example.

The picture that Gyunnie uploaded was not something that he made by himself.

It was just a regular picture taken from the internet being used by some Koreans when Thanksgiving day is coming, maybe since there are cultural differences between us, it is very common here in Korea and any East Asia culture that once you meet your family – you can ask things like weight, college, marriage, dating, or jobs. It is a part of our culture and it is considered NORMAL.

I will post what he uploaded exactly yesterday :

The Tittle : The Menu of Nagging during Chusok (Korean thanksgiving) 

– Are you thinking about college? (50.000won)

-Please lose some weight (100.000won)

– Are you currently dating? (100.000won)

-When are you going to go to the military? (150.000won)

-When are you going to graduate? (150.000)

-Are you thinking about employment right now? (200.000 won)

-How much yearly salary are you getting? (250.000won)

– Isnt it time for you to get married? (300.000 won)

– Isnt it time for you to have kids? (500.000 won)

He is basically “selling” those concerns that people had for him that they expressed by asking personal questions. He was not serious, obviously and these things will never meant to be implemented in real life. Who will will buy such things? I would not. He was just being bitter and sarcastic about upcoming Thanksgiving day.

That is exactly what he posted. Some of them are not relatable for his situation (kids, yearly salary etc)

But young people these days find it quite uncomfortable for obvious reasons. Even I get uncomfortable when people ask such questions, let alone Gyunnie who is somehow going into the “unpopular road” here in Korea.

Out of SKY Uni – he got accepted into K University.

Now he is moving to Y University.

People find it very odd, that he is moving to a college that has the same exact standards as his previous university.

Like moving from Stanford to Yale.

I have never mentioned this but Gyunnie is an only kid which makes him the only son. In Korea society, having sons is somehow better than daughters.

He has a lot of expectations on his shoulders from his parents and family as the only son.

I think that is the main reason why he puts so much pressure on himself to be perfect.

He told me once that the day before the SAT, he could not sleep at all. He prepared that exam for 3 years. He can only slept after his mom lowered her expectations by saying that “It is ok to fail, Gyun-ah.”

He ended up getting #1 on that SAT exams.

He was a very good student but he did not have a good relationship with most of his teachers.

From what he had described, most of his teachers are just super subjective in grading. and too religious for his preference.

He spent his teenage years (12-18) in China. He went into a top international school there, with only 20 students per year – though he made a lot of good friends.

Imagine moving from his high school to K University that has 15.000 students per year. His major itself has around 500 students per year.

I think Gyunnie had a very rough transition from high school to college.

He is “shaking” a lot. In Korea, these are not good signs. People who were a good student and good son is expected to continue their roles like that forever.

His parents has a lot of concerns regarding moving college and military service as well.

He is losing time, and they are losing money.

Gyunnie is not in the best situation in his life right now. People are probably criticising him for being so unstable, one of the biggest sign is him letting K University go (from their perspective)

I can go into more details about his family stuff if you want, in my next reply to you.

But now, I can see why he was not happy in K University.

I noticed now that he never really made any comments or remarks about his friends from K Uni. Most of his friends that he talked about and introduced to me were his high school friends.

I tried to find out from my other friend in Business major, he said that Gyunnie has quite a lot of friends. Not to mention being in student council is a huge deal as well.

I feel like he did not have any problems in his social life but he had mentioned and expressed a few times that he does not feel like he got along with them very well deep down inside.

Like his personality and their personality is way too different.

But I mean out of 500 students, what can you expect? You cannot get along with everyone.

I noticed that he has a small group of friends (2 girls, 3 guys including him) before I dated him.

But when I started dating him, he never once talked about them. They seemed quite close in my eyes, they even went to see Cherry Blossom together.

I asked him about them and he said that they are close but not that close.

I feel like Gyunnie put quite a distance between him and Business school people.

I asked our mutual friend that introduced me and Gyunnie, he said that he only met Gyunnie outside school to drink once.

Later I found out that they aren’t even that close, and they actually kinda got closer because of me.

I feel kind of guilty for not really seeing his struggles now.

Gyunnie was forcing himself to be nice to gain friends that does not even understand or get along with him very well.

I think in K University, he only has less than 10 people that he can really trust.

Now that I think about it, I was probably his best friend in K University.

I was the first person that he told in K University that he is moving, later on he finally told his “close” friends which is like 3-4 people that he is moving.

From the outside he seems like he has tons of friends but not a lot that he genuinely likes.

-Mina