Dear Claire:

He should have told you that he was married before he proceeded to have an intimate relationship with him. He was not honest with you. It doesn’t matter whether that marriage was for papers only and whether it was on paper only. He should have told you.

When you communicated with his wife/ legal wife, it was a mistake on your part to share personal information with her. I suppose you felt a comradery with her at the time and needed support. Only it was too soon to consider her as support. (Maybe following some time and trust built, maybe then there could have been a reason-based comradery)

At this point what do you know about that marriage: is it on paper only? If so, what is his immigration status (if that was the reason?), what did she share with you and what is the status of their relationship? These things are relevant to the advice you are asking.

anita