Dear Nia N:

You wrote: “I still cant help but wonder why he didnt choose me. I’m still extremely jealous that shes a part of his life and that i’m not, and that he blocked me out of his life forever and wont even contact me back despite how much I try”-

Better stop trying to get him back into your life.

He chose to block you out of his life because you disturbed his self image of “the sweetest guy on the planet” by contacting his ex and creating a public scene that last night, gathering attention of other people.

The ex is not an ex. She was a current girlfriend all along during the relationship with you, no more an ex than you were, in his life.

You wrote: “Part of me thinks that he loved her more that he could have loved me and thats why he left”-

No, I think she is still in his life, if she is, because she has not threatened his self image. You have. Not because he loved her more. I believe dishonesty and love don’t go together, and so, he didn’t and doesn’t  love you or her.

You wrote: “I just want to make sense of all of this so I can move forward”- I hope you do make sense of all of this. To make sense of it you have to calm down. Being agitated, distressed makes clear thinking difficult to come by. With clear thinking, your cognitive dissonance will be resolved and healing will follow.

anita