Anita,

Maybe he is still a God to me after all.. maybe.

You wrote : “There is no substitute, long term, for you enduring your distress in KU, if you are to remain there. Enduring it without the temper tantrums and without the fantasy.”

So you are saying that in order for me to be able to stay here at KU, I would either have a temper tantrum (maybe lashing out?) or holding on to the fantasy and memory of Gyunnie.

Am I understanding you correctly?

I need to lash out / throw a tantrum or holding on to this fantasy in order to survive here?

That explains the current situation then, that my moment of “calmness” only lasts 3-4 weeks maximum, and after that – I have to go home for a short period of time to somehow “survive” and endure things here at KU.

Please give me feedback on how can I possibly substitute long term. Maybe a new boyfriend, that is long term?

Someone that is able to stay by my side for 3 years until I finished my studies here?

-Monica