If anyone on this thread still visiting this website, please give me some advice since I am also experiencing the same thing as Jaz.

I and my boyfriend are going out for 10 months now, and it was three months ago since I’ve experienced “not feeling in love anymore.” (But I still get jealous and concerned about him but the sparks is not there anymore, and the feeling of guilt and pain suddenly replaced it.)

I was also told that maybe the honeymoon stage has ended already and the sparks have subsided. I was also advised to tell this to my man so we can solve this problem together, which I also did. The first week I’ve experienced it was HELL. I did not have any idea what was happening to me. I cried and cried because I felt guilt, sadness, and nervousness. After that hell week, I decided to communicate the problem to him and we agreed to give me some space to figure it all out. He hugged me and wiped the tears falling as I was so confused.

I thought that I  am okay already after 2 days and so I came back to him. I tried to deny in myself that the situation is not real, which I think was not a very good way to cope with this problem. After 2 days of getting back together, I asked again for space which, with all his heart, he gave. Since then, I decided to force myself to fight the pain I’m feeling. What is so confusing is that, I know that I still love him but I keep feeling that something’s not right. I thought that this will be easy if only I still feel the sparks and the feeling of being in love. I am confused because I have never been in this kind of situation before. I dont know what to do.

After like 1 month, I asked again for space. It lasted for almost a week since I promised to myself that I’m gonna figure this out for our betterment. Up to now, even though we are together again, I still experience what Jaz described. I do not want to lose him so I am loving him by choice. It is pretty hard but I am always reminding myself not to give up because he’s worth it. But I also fear that one day I’ll realize and simply accept that the stars were not aligned for us. But whenever I think of this, the feeling of pain and confusion strikes back, even stronger, as if pushing me to make a decision to leave. I know I love him, deep inside. I know that love is a choice more than a feeling and so I am deciding to love him everyday. He is the best guy I’ve ever met and I do not want to lose him.

It’s just that the feeling of pain and confusion sometimes become unbearable and I wonder when this suffering will end and when will I harvest the rewards of this hardships. I believe I have not fallen out of love since this happened so suddenly(and I was unaware) and so I am still fighting for love.

Please give me some advice. I will appreciate it! 🙂