Hi Tom,

If you really like her, ask her to talk to the real father first and see what she is going to do about the child. If she is going to keep it, keep in mind, that she is going to be a single mother and might not have alot of time to pursue a relationship. She will be busy having sleepless nights, changing diapers, is she financially independent where she can afford this, or will she be looking to you to provide? That is if the father does not step up, and she decides to keep the child. Then again, she may give it up for adoption. Then she has to think about another perhaps bigger place, for another room for a baby. This is going to be a heavy emotional toll for her. I would have her Talk to the father first, and then talk to her about where she sees her future with the child and perhaps you in it.

For example if she does have the child, you don’t want to become bonded with the child if she does not see a future with you. I would sit down and discuss all this with her before pursuing anything more with her.