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Hi crystalmoon,
I registered just to reply to you. I had the same experience around 2012. It’s incredible and I’ve been working to regain it ever since as well.
The good news is that we are that love, that joy, that connection. But to get there permanently we have to let go of all that we are not. For me, there’s been a LOT to let go of! Currently, I’m processing rage at having to incarnate because of the suffering I experienced in three specific past lifetimes. I never imagined that was even there!
I’m sorry your homeopath let you go through the panic attacks. I have been using homeopathy for the past 6 years and early on I had a panic attack after taking a remedy. My homeopath gave me another remedy to take only if I started to panic. The next time the panic moved in, I took that remedy and the panic was immediately gone. I was instantly feeling normal. Homeopathic remedies do bring up the negativity we are holding in our unconscious, body, and energy field—including fear and anxiety—and we do have to feel that stuff to release it, and it can be hard, but my homeopath has worked with me to make it as manageable as possible.
I am a different person today as I have let go of so much. The walls have come down and I am my authentic self (minus the rage currently being processed and whatever happens to be under that, lol). I feel that love and connection to all and no longer see right and wrong. It took a long time and a lot of courage, but as you know, it’s so worth it!
In case it helps, other things I used were Reiki (and I got my Master Certification in that), meeting monthly with a small group of women to learn about connecting to intuition and to get to be yourself with people who don’t judge you (lifesaver), chiropractic, the Body Code, meditation, yoga, EFT and probably a bunch of other stuff I can’t think of right now. I think the most important thing is that it is just happening to you, whether you know it or not. Stuff will come into your life when you need it to help you release the pain that is stored at the next level. We’re like onions, and as each layer is shed we get closer to the core of who we really are.
Hope this helps. Enjoy the journey!