AnaO,

I am practicing to BE with my pain or emotional discomfort as well.  I believe that this is a Buddhist meditation practice.  Avoiding or distracting from that will not get rid of it.  To make friends with what is uncomfortable seems like the best way of dealing with such things.  Whenever I experience fear or emotional pain, I work on it through meditating on it.  It’s hard but I know it works.

I am curious about how your past has affected your views and choices for relationships.  I assume that there will be trust issues among other things that have colored your approach.  I am also curious about your age.

Mark