After this one I am falling for, there was another one, on the last weekend of 2017. I went to this night club with a friend and at that night, I met a guy, we got to spend the night together. But it was just because I was feeling like hooking up before the turn of the year. This guy is trying to see me again, but all he calls me is “hottie” “you’re so delicious” and apart from that night we spent together, I have no interest in seeing him again.

There were some other two boys that tried talking to me (both on Tinder) but … There are not people I would say “Oh. I feel so excited about knowing more of you. Let’s talk. Let’s meet.” No. All I think about is “My God. I want so much to meet L again.” There is a voice inside of me that insists upon saying “Wait. Calm down”. But I feel his absence so much and at work I have to deal with people who are dating, engaged, married and all I think is “I so wish it was me and my husband.” Me and my husband, when would I ever think of saying that? I couldn’t picture myself getting married and today this is the thing I want the most. I know I have no money to afford a wedding or a life by myself but even so, I want this to happen.