I felt safe for the moment. Maybe an evening. But then I felt unsafe again because I knew emotional abuse would ensue shortly.

I would like to continue with you too. I guess I am not that alone after all.

I know that I am getting better. Everyone left this morning and I felt so lonely and put so much pressure on myself to be that “cool free girl who just goes and explores the city on her own”.

I cried a bit. But then. Here I am. I am at a cafe. I am writing in a journal my sister has bought me. We are doing the “daily stoic journa.” I am sitting in front of art. Eating an avocado grilled cheese with veggies. Drinking jasmine green tea. I will then, in two hours, take myself to a movie. This is a victory. One of the things that hinders me the most is the pressure voice in my head. “You should do this. And be like this. And why can’t you be like this”