I have the rubber-band effect with my best friend. We are extremely close but there is still something that keeps us apart. Feel like a little space that never comes together between us, something that makes us not connect completely. I don’t know what it is except that he does not know my full authentic self and i have no clue how to express it. I never really have the excitement and the urge to meet him anymore, the driving force. I keep wanting to be alone and not see anyone but at the same time i really want a close relationship but it seems as i can’t make the gap close together between us, where we would be one with each other. We are bestfriends but strangers at the same time, and it feels horrible. I feel guilty for having my friends ask me out all the time, i am rarely the one asking if people want to do something with me. I don’t know why, it feel like i have so many friends that i would never get the time for myself if i started asking them out too.