Dear Jenny Lynn:

It is to be expected when a couple of people love each other, living together, that there will be some losing  on each side, so  to be together.  If what you and Glenn gain for being together is greater than what you individually give up for being with him, that is worthwhile for you, a Win. Same for him, if what he gains for being together with you is greater than what he gives up, then it is a Win for him.

It is not realistic to expect a loving relationship to have no individual Lose elements. The total should be Win.

For example, if he is not in good physical shape, as in not being healthy, because of the relationship with you, that is a big Lose for him. If he is healthy but doesn’t have the huge muscles he had before, that is not a big Lose (unless his livelihood  depended on it maybe).

Unrelated to you, to your thread, I’ve been thinking recently, an hour ago, actually, about people who complain a lot, the woe-me, poor me, see how much I suffer people vs the I am fine, none complainer people, like you. Will you tell me more how it came about, how as a child you figured it is better to not complain and to appear fine even though you were  suffering inside? Maybe give me an example?

anita