Ash,

I wonder after all this, that you find it difficult to move on.  You said you want to but cannot and it has affected you life profoundly.

I suspect that this man was a catalyst that triggered something that was lurking deeper.  I believe if we are healthy and congruent then we are able to rebound from life’s trials and tribulations.  I am not saying it would be easy or quick but if we have the inner resources, good sense of our self, self love then we have a core of emotional resilience to weather such setbacks.  I may be talking out of my ass but that’s my belief.

I don’t have any real suggestions for you if that is the case for you but at least it may be something that will help you find the right help for yourself.

Mark