Dear Sierra:

It is sad when thinking about this: you liked this young man from the very beginning, back in high school. You genuinely liked him. But he didn’t believe it was possible for him to be liked or loved. So he tried to cause you to feel guilty so that you will be with him. He didn’t have to… because you liked him. Sad part is that if you were in a relationship with him now, he would probably keep trying to make you feel guilty.

But why? … He doesn’t have to! Oh, but how deeply we hold on to our beliefs. He believes he is not likeable, not lovable and you can’t cause him to believe otherwise.

You wrote: “I hope this time we need is worth it”-  on is part it will be worth it if he attends quality psychotherapy where he will explore and challenge that belief I mentioned. Did you suggest that he attends such and if so, what was his response?

anita