Dear Trixie:

My first priority if I was in your situation, best I understand it, is to see to it that my daughter, very vulnerable at four, will not be present for any fighting in her home, wherever her home may be. Fighting in the home is very damaging to children.

If not fighting takes staying away from Tom, that is what I would do.

Since I wouldn’t be able to determine if Tom can control his temper (even if I was confident that I can), what I would do considering going back to Tom, would be to attend couple counseling with Tom so to make aggression (fighting) not the reality to come. But since Tom refuses couple counseling, this is a mute point.

Therefore, what I would do is not get back together with Tom.

Harry reads like a nice guy.

anita