So she’s right with everything she says about me. She’s right about me being messy, and probably other things like my thin hair etc. I asked my friend about this and she said  she never thought my mother would think her “nodding” is a support of her criticism and she would never criticize me for being this or that. Also she said she doesn’t care and rather it’s a kind of humorous when she says I left some clothes or bag on the floor again, not in bad intention to criticize me. She was surprised  and said it’s very “twisted”my mother uses it to support her criticism and that there’s a lot of things in everyone to criticize and you always have a choice whether you want to bring someone down by pointing this out everyday on and on, or whether you just let someone live. What do you think about it? Am I *the reason* my mother complains about me? Will my mother magically stop complaining and bringing me down if I start being amazingly neat? Or am I allowed to be whatever I am and whatever habits I have. Am I allowed to be messy (if it is what I really am) or is my mother right that I am almost ruining her life and making her life miserable with my leaving clothes on the floor  etc. Please be honest with this.

My mother once said she moved out of her family home because she could not stand hearing grandma’s complaining every day about her. thats why she got married and moved out. And that’s why after divorce we lived at grandmas house only for 5 months because my mother couldn’t stand grandma’s complaing about how she got married badly and had a bad husband, she couldn’t stand hearing this every day on and on. So we moved out even if we didn’t have enough money and place to live. She just couldn’t live with her anymore.