Well, I had already sort of planned and started on a new “3rd place” for myself when I met her. It sits on 40 acres so plenty of room. The problem is time and 20mi away and running my own business and kids got me way behind. She patiently waited.
I know now that some of my issues stem from the fact that I may not even want to live there anymore as this was a dream for many years ago and is further away from my family than I prefer. I also know she really didn’t want to live that far either, but was willing.
She had been checking progress with me, which was slow, and started talking about doing something else, just anything to fill the gap. My stress level was insane! I think part of it was that she felt completely stressed out with all of us inn her house, but I did not feel it was “that small”. 1000ft main level plus finished basement. 2 kids would have to share a room for a bit, but we could manage.
She felt it was chaotic. Towards the end I realized I needed to just rent a house in her home town. I know now how to make it all work, but she won’t even talk now. I was trying to avoid losing money such as a rental, but at this point I would give every dime I have to fix my family.
I would say everything in our relationship was fast at first. I knew I loved her about 2mo in and communicated that, we both knew we were looking for marriage/kids/forever. She really wanted to move things along but I honestly wanted to new place done first. I did NOT COMMUNICATE well at all! I know now how much stuff I internalize because if I say something, she just expects it to get done. Some things are just easier to say than do.
She was asking for a ring and change in living arrangement for quite a while. The way we lived for a while was I ran my business from my house, but I loaded up clothes and such every night, and always slept at her house. There were a few nights I stayed at my own due to work or whatnot, but from about 1mo in, I pretty much lived at her house.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 