Eagle: Thank you for your response. I’ve done a lot of thinking about some of the things you said, particularly: “I think that you see getting married as a solution to your problems.” On one hand, I think there’s some truth to this, but I think it also goes a little deeper than that. I see marriage as the deepest level of commitment. There have been varying degrees of commitment throughout our whole relationship. First we were merely dating, then we started dating exclusively, then we met each other’s families, and then we committed to moving in together (signed a lease and agreed on who would pay for what). Each level requires a different level of investment in the relationship. I do believe that for my boyfriend and I marriage would be the final level of investment for us, thus the deepest level of commitment, etc… I understand people who get married separate or divorce often and marriage doesn’t guarantee that won’t happen, but I do think making the decision to marry someone is almost like a different state of mind and a different state of valuing your partner. This is just my opinion and what I feel is most accurate for us in our culture.

Does that mean I don’t think he is committed to our relationship and values me right now? No, I think he does, I just think it’s different. He did state that he “wasn’t ready to get married yet,” I think some guys have to emotionally wrap their mind around that level of commitment, particularly the duration of the commitment (I assume most people get married because they would like it to be their last relationship). If you live to be the average age of 78-years-old (I had to google that lol), that’s 46 years with the same person. I think for some people that thought would be understandably daunting. This probably sounds crazy, but for me I think, “that’s it??”

There’s so much I want to accomplish in 40-something years with the person I love. There’s so much of the world to see, so much to experience. I mean it’s really limitless.

Maybe I need to change my perspective. If we theoretically only have 40-something years together, I would rather them all be amazing years than me griping and having a pity party about not being married and pressuring him into all of this stuff.

This quote really sums up how I feel: “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Anita: Thanks for your response, I should’ve been a little more fair with that statement. My boyfriend does have plans with me for this summer. I was just trying to highlight that he also has plans with his friends (some plans include me and some do not).

Courtney: I agree I should focus more on the present moment with him.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for taking the time to read!