Hello Steve,

What you say here is part of the problem:

I told her that if she is seeing someone else, she should leave me alone and that her actions towards me are misleading. Yet, she just continued to pull me in.

By telling her how to treat you, you are putting the power of the decision for all of this on her.  This is your life, and your happiness.  Take that back, and walk away from this person.

I know that is easier to do than it is to say.  But understanding how she thinks might help.  You have a person here who looks to me like she is using you for her own ego boost.  She might think she loves you and likes you.  She might be keeping you in this spot because the other guy is married or involved with someone else, and she is waiting for him to make a decision.  In the meantime, she has you telling her you have these feelings for her.  That can be intoxicating for anybody – to know someone out there thinks they are That Person.

I also think it’s worth noting that if she is treating you like this, is this someone you would want to be with for the rest of your life?  She doesn’t value you enough to take your feelings seriously, and treat them with kindness.

The fact that she blew up your phone the night you refused to go all the way tells me she loves your attention and doesn’t want to lose that.  But she doesn’t love you enough to leave the other guy and make the leap into a committed relationship with you.

If I were you, I would stop all contact with her.  When she goes after you – and she will – tell her you are serious about walking away.  Only then will she realize this is not a game, and that playing with your heart is not something you will allow.

Peace,

Airene

• This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by Airene.