Hi The Bard,

I can relate myself a lot with this post. I do not have any friends or any meaningful relationships whatsoever. I tried cultivating friendships but they would all go cold. After sometime I stopped trying. I feel lonely and forlorn all the time. Nobody really cares or looks out for me. Not even my relatives and family members. I being an introvert does not help either. Like you I am sober most of the time.

Let me share with you a few things that I do. I hope it will help you. I have stopped keeping lofty expectations from people. I do not try to make any relationship go down a particular path, allowing it to take its course, even if it runs its course. I try taking things one day at a time. No matter what comes out of a relationship, good or bad, I do not judge it. I just become aware of my feelings, physical and emotional, and stay on it for a while. I do not suppress or express it, I just observe. It subsides after a while. Unlike before, I smile at people. I try to enjoy the small talk. Nothing too deep or elaborate. Just a little chat. For a short while. Since I am an introvert, this intimidates me sometimes. But I still give it a shot.

Besides, this is a downside to our generation. People are glued to their smartphones all the time. Technology and apps have taken over our lives. Nobody hardly wants personal relationships. You are not alone out there. Most of us feel this way. I have felt the way you feel for most part of my life.