Dear Cass:

Regarding the example you gave me, he showed verbal aggression, clearly, by using the f word, for one. And he showed anger, clearly, telling you that he is done. My question is in this example, were you aggressive toward him in covert ways, not directly and clearly like he was with you?

You wrote that you “told him that was fine as long as he actually planned something and went through with it“- did you say the italicized part in a complaining, accusatory, slightly angry kind of a way?

* And did he cancel plans because of his work schedule, maybe a changing and demanding schedule?

anita