Dear malllh:

It takes two. You cannot be under attack and not react. In other words, he has to learn to be anxious and not act aggressively toward you. He has to endure his anxiety without reacting automatically to it.

It is not effective to wait for a time when one is no longer anxious and then act respectfully toward one’s partner. The time to act respectfully toward one’s partner is now, every day, no matter how anxious.

Do you think it is something he can do, something the two of you can do in the relationship?

anita