Hi John,

Exactly — the last thing you want is to appear needy, clingy, and demanding. That’ll be a deal breaker, so don’t let that happen. As hard as this is for you, it’s a good opportunity to prove to yourself that you’re capable of sitting with the uncertainty of this situation and being okay while doing it. Reads to me that one reason you’re here is because your impatience in the earlier difficult situation got the best of you, but you’ve learned from that already, so keep breathing and try to remain calm and patient. It sounds like you’re determined not to repeat your earlier mistakes, so tell yourself that whatever happens here you’ll be fine. Don’t think of your decision to slow this down as a “messed up game”. Think of it as doing the mature, right thing. Show her you’ve changed.

So she’s in an exclusive relationship with this new guy but continues to text with you and has even confided in you that the relationship she’s in is not like a real relationship. There’s a message in there somewhere.

Before I answer the rest of your questions, tell me, she knows how you feel about her, right? I mean, without sending the letter, she already knows that you love her and want her back?

B