Dear Kay:

We are born needing people, and the first person we need is that parent that is holding us. Without the parent holding us, we will fall. This is how desperately we are born needing that person to hold us. We don’t grow out of the need to be held. As adults, once we realize it, we have a choice as to who is holding us (when we need to be held). We don’t have this choice as children.

As a child you were punished for being angry, and that made you angrier, didn’t it. What part did your anger from childhood play in your relationship with your ex boyfriend and with your ex friend?

anita