Like i said earlier in this thread i still talk with my mom and really have nothing but empathy towards her anymore. I don’t go to her or my father for emotional support nor do i expect it. When i do see my mom a couple times a month its usually all about her problems, because she is going through alot right now. She does love me and tries to care for me emotionally, however she or my father dont really know how to truly care for their own emotions, so i don’t really get much out of her attempts except gratitude that she’s willing to try.

Essentially my relationship with my mother and father have always been lacking. I was a little angry about not always being cared for by my parents, but at this point its in the past, and im just trying to move on and i expect nothing from either of them at all. I’m on my own as I’ve always been.

I really don’t know if laboring over my damaged parental relationships is helping me anymore. I mean yes i’m aware my childhood was traumatizing and lacking in many areas, yes i’m aware how this has shaped my personality and continues to be pervasive. however im trying to be a man now and take responsibility for my own healing.

I suppose what im really looking for is what to do about these god awful aches and pains of lonliness. I doubt i will ever be in another romantic relationship the way things are going, so if you have any wisdom on dealing with the undeniable loneliness of life that would be helpful