Dear Claudia:

I wonder how it is that the co worker didn’t know that he and you were in a relationship (and a three year relationship). Was the relationship a secret?

He told you that when he moved to Fresno “his whole life turned up side down”. He didn’t just change a location, he moved back with his mother. Maybe he had a good relationship with his mother, but if he didn’t, moving back in with her could have been very distressing for him. If so, I wonder if he rushed into a new relationship, one with a local woman, so to distract himself from the … trouble at home, same trouble he had as a child living with his mother.

I also wonder about the fights you had before his move, what were those about.

If you don’t want to explore what happened further, as I suggested, it is fine with me, of course. My comment in that case is that it seems like the relationship suited him in the context of the place you lived, his relationship status as was (divorcing), and no longer suited him in his new circumstances, the new context of his life. I do hope you feel better very soon.

anita