Dear noname:

You wrote, “i’m not sure she understands how her being constantly depressed and down on her self affects me”- and so, you are still waiting for her to understand.

You want love in your life. Got to give up any hope and any waiting to receive it from your mother (or your father). As children do, you did and do still feel a lot of empathy for your mother. It is an unrequited love.

I see you as a person trying to beat water (love) out of a rock (your mother), or just sitting there looking at the rock, waiting for the water. All along there is a stream of water over there, a small one, there behind those few trees. How will you ever get to explore and find that stream if you are staying close to the rock…

Way, way less empathy for your mother and more, way more empathy for yourself is what you need. And this, I believe, is the whole truth.

anita