Dear joanna:

His issues are too significant, reads to me, to allow a healthy relationship with any woman.

You wrote earlier, “I was afraid after this first time that if the sex is going to be a disaster he wouldn’t want me so I decided to do it so that he would like it. Seems like it was a mistake”- it is a mistake to make an assumption without checking it (could have asked him, had a conversation and found out his thoughts so to not assume and then act on unchecked assumptions).

But again, his issues are too  significant to allow for a healthy relationship. I would imagine he would need a relationship therapist while in a relationship, a couple therapy, to guide the two step by step.

Back to your living circumstances, they are the same. Nothing changed. Nothing is worse or better. Well, so … nothing changed.

anita