maggie mac,

I like the way the Marshall Rosenberg Non-Violent Communication Process is for it does not go into blame, it is based on compassion and it is simple.

I view communication, understanding, compassion as critical components for a good and intimate relationship.  If neither one of you can feel free to be authentic and compassionately honest then I see that as a barrier and something to be addressed.

I don’t see the solution as never doubting and questioning him again.  The solution may be more of conveying what you want in a “better” way.  I see making a request for more contact is not doubting or questioning him however.

I am all for accepting the partner as the way they are but I also know from experience that if they are not willing to be open, self aware and grow with you then it makes it all the more difficult to have a lasting and loving relationship.  I found I cannot be around a partner where I feel I have to walk on eggshells.

It is like we just cannot talk about things that are a problem and we don’t talk about how he responds to problems that arise.  A relationship where you cannot talk about problems is not really a close relationship in my opinion.

Have you tried / thought of couple’s counseling so that these things can be better resolved?

Mark