Dear Cali Chica:

“The truth is what serves you may not serve another person”, not at any one moment, but the truth serves everyone in the long run. For example, if you change your roll with your sister, she may not  like it at this or that time, but long term it will help her. The objective truth is way more powerful than subjective feel-good moments here and there.

“My mother never taught me the sanctity of marriage”, – she didn’t teach you about home cooked Indian food because she didn’t practice home cooking, and she didn’t teach you the sanctity of marriage because she didn’t practice sanctity of marriage.

“I need to learn from scratch”- this learning is a full time job for me, in my life.

I wrote the above line before I read your most recent post where you wrote: “This is my job. “- it takes a whole lot from you too, it (to heal, to learn from scratch) is a full time job for you as well, isn’t it?

It amazes me that I wrote that it is my full time job before reading you stating: “It is my job…it is my sole and only job”.

Regarding your last line, valuing your marriage- it is about teaming up with another purpose for the purpose of helping each other, having a win-win relationship, unlike the one with your mother, with your sister, with your various friends, co workers, acquaintances.

anita