Hi Anita,

I went to dinner with a friend & all I wanted to do was to get back home in my comfort zone…I also contacted an old friend from about 20 years ago & he came by with a pizza and we talked.  I basically had to run him off, but did enjoy talking to him.  When he got home, he sent me a text and said he thought we would feel better if we would have held one another.  I told him several time times about my situation and that I was in no way ready for any type of physical contact, so it really bothered me that he mentioned the holding thing.

I still feel like I am in a committed relationship, which I know I am not~ I just feel that way.  And again, maybe I still have hope me & my ex will get back together.  I really wish I would meet someone, but have no desire to go out.  Even the little bit I am out, my feelings are still the same.

I received the key from my ex last week and I believe it was a day or so after I called him & asked to talk & told him it hurt my feelings that he has never spoken to me about anything since he moved & asked to get together.  He said he had nothing to say & didn’t care what was bothering me, that he was not going to listen to anything I had to say.  He said he was removed from the situation months ago and did not want to talk about anything, whether it would make me feel better or not.

I know I shouldn’t have asked, but I did and now it’s over.  It added hurt to what was already in my Heart and made it worse.  So, I really understand the no contact rule.  I was hoping he would talk and tell me he still cared & did I get a surprise.  Now, I know 100% that I need to find someone before my life is over.  I don’t want to be alone & I know I want to share my life with someone and be happy & Loved…and give the same in return.s

Bella~