Dear Lynda:

You are welcome. Yes, “there is hope but not promise”. I cannot (and don’t think anyone can) calculate the statistical chances of this man turning to be your lifetime partner, a good, loving partner to you and a good, loving father to your son. I think it is possible, but the statistical chances are small. So whether you saw him soon, or see him later, in real life, is most likely not a matter of great consequence.

If you continue to interact with him and as you do, and practice being assertive with him, it will help you if you keep in mind that the statistical chances of what I mentioned is small, very small. If you keep it in mind, you will not be that afraid to say or do the wrong thing, or not the just correct thing because the consequence is very small, if there is any.

Does this make sense to you?

Best this man has to offer you anytime in the near future is an opportunity for you to practice being direct and assertive. Being friends first is an excellent idea, get to know him as a friend. One thing to get to know about him is whether he is interested at all to be friends (maybe more later).

Like you wrote, honor you and your son first, and that means, in the context of this man, get to know what he values and what motivates him, and see if his values and motivations honor you and your son, or not.

anita