Nichole,

I was very verbally abusive during the situation and even physical
He says he needs time to work on himself and forgive himself and me for things during the relationship. He says I also need time for healing and to find myself again
I completely relied on him for my happiness.

I did not read how you have worked on yourself once you left him.  I did not read what guarantees he has made not to cheat again.

Until both of you have made a commitment to change and actively engage in the process of changing then what makes you think it will be any different?

Find a therapist and start making changes to learn more about yourself and how to be healthier.

Mark