Dear Anita,

I will never thank you enough for your good advice 🙂

1. Indeed, that sounds obvious when you put it that way ! I don’t know why I feel like this, I suppose it’s because I feel like disliking someone is mean, which is totally not. I will try to think about that

2. You are so right ! I know she still cares about me, and she will be very hurt and I don’t want her to suffer …

Plus, a part of me is afraid that she will react badly or take revenge … I know that is silly.  I can’t remain friend with people just because I am afraid of their reaction if I leave. That will just confirm that I made the right decision ending the friendship

And there is the fact I still feel guilty for what I have done (even if I feel much better, thanks again 🙂 ) and I feel like I “owe” her now. (I could develop the events that explain why this friendship went south if you want). All those reasons make it difficult to end the friendship

“but all children are not thoughtful or considerate as children, crying when hungry, asking for food when hungry later on, saying: I want this! I don’t want that!” Yes, absolutely

“do you remember specifics of how she taught you to not be assertive, at an early age?” I’ve given this some thought, I don’t know if I remember specifically.

All I know is : one hand she wanted me to respect other’s feelings, to be polite and kind

And on the other hand, shewanted me to be firm and to defend myself when I had to, which I struggled to do.

She said when she was a kid, she was sweet but well aware of her boundaries and didn’t let others walk all over her, like I did