Dear Maddy:

I don’t know why G “used to be everything” to you. Like I wrote to you before, and I think you agreed, you didn’t know her well. Seems to me that you didn’t know her at all,  other than maybe the way she looked, the sound of her voice, some details about her life. I don’t think you knew her thoughts, her feelings, her values, or her motivations. She was your Fantasy.

When Reality and Fantasy came together in a short sexual relationship, Fantasy exploded and you are left confused and angry.

You wrote before that she “cheated”  on her husband with you. You put “cheated” inside quotation marks, as if she didn’t really cheat on him with you, as if she was always yours. Part of your Fantasy was that you were as special in her heart as she was special in yours, that you were her number 1. This is what exploded, reality showing you that she had other close associates. You were not her number one.

I don’t think you fully understand this concept, that she was a Fantasy. That you didn’t really know her. And that you recently found out that indeed she is not that the fantasy woman you had in mind and heart. You don’t realize that you are currently angry at a Fantasy.

anita