Dear caroline:

It is important that you don’t feel like a fraud at work, if you are to continue it. You feel uncomfortable about having lied to the woman who asked you for a daily ride back from home. You even feel guilty for not giving her the rides she requested. I think you felt scared that if you told her a simple NO, she will retaliate against you.

Following her request, a request she shouldn’t have made, by the way, you feel fear and guilt. You lied so to avoid retaliation, motivated by fear. But you feel guilt because you lied and because you didn’t say Yes. Am I correct?

If I am, I would say that better say the truth, not the whole truth but when you do say something to a co worker, see to it that it is true. It will be scary and somewhat of a risk, but as you practice this kind of courage, you make it possible for yourself to get stronger, to be able to endure more fear as you make better and better choices in all life areas.

Back in time, she asked you for a daily ride, you could say: “No, not a good idea”. Let’s say she says: “Why?” You say: “it is not comfortable for me. I want to go straight home after a work day” And you walk away.

What do you think?

anita