I do hate how much im willing to wait for him to be the man i need and know him to be, Im completely inlove and i am attached to all people i grow to love, i hold great value to those i love and i consider them irreplaceable. Its so complicated because he is a good man and he cares for me, im probably the closest and most important person in his life and i guess i just want more from him, i fully know that his drive and focus to make a success of himself is whats stealing alot of his time and energy and as a partner i need to be patient while his on this journey to success, its going to mean he has less time and energy for me especially because his an athlete. What did scare me was that his phobia was stronger than his love for me and he allowed a break to go on for almost 3 months which i find mind blowing because he and i use to be completely against breaks, he and i didnt have much family to rely on and we were just 5 months into living in our own place. Maybe it was all the pressure and arguing that caused the distance between us, perhaps that was a contributing factor to his phobia that he didn’t want to be limited and living unhappy. It angers me to think about how he could do that to me and a part of me is fearlful of bringing up the break conversation too soon, I know i have to give it some time and allow us to be happy and reconnect and fix what was broken with the new relationship we have. He is definitely trying and i cant expect too much from him so am appreciative of the happiness we currently have. Him and i are very much about self discovery and we both reflect on our childhoods to figure certain things about us and that has been working where we create a safe environment to really dig into our past and how that perhaps affects our current relationship. Its difficult for him to cope with emotional based conversations but i encourage him to explore into what makes him tik and why he is avoidant.