Dear Lilly:

You wrote: “A few people have told me that when they first met me they thought I was mean... coming off as b*chy“- this means to me that you are angry at people and it shows.

You asked: “What’s some advice for putting out there and not being shy..”-  this means to me that you feel less than, or not worthy.

Therefore my advice, based on the little information I have, and so it is limited at best:  resolve your feelings of unworthiness, maybe in psychotherapy. Once you feel and believe that you are worthy, you will not be afraid that men, upon getting to know you, will discover that you are not worthy (you are!) and you will be angry at them expecting them to point that out to you.

anita