Dear Lily:

You wrote, “I don’t know what he is thinking”- this is why you should ask and get to know him otherwise, listen, observe, take your time. Only he is leaving soon and there will be less time.

For as long as you believe that you are less-than, less than the man and less than other women, you will continue to be inclined to accommodate a man’s sexual interest when he expresses it, not when it is wise for you to engage in such. There is also your own need for physical contact, to be touched, as well as a sexual need, that is playing a part in what happens.

Complicated, isn’t it? I would say, getting to know a man before having sex is a good idea, a very good idea. He may be as good and trustworthy of a man as you think he is, but get to know him more, make sure that he is those things you think he is.

He may be trustworthy but too busy and unavailable, also to consider.

anita